Why are there so many singles?

'In the last century, our love journeys have undergone a revolution, says Annemieke.

Our relationships are constantly changing, our frame of reference is sometimes unclear or even gone. As a result, relationships can feel unsafe. It can seem as if there are no certainties anymore, as if we are evolving towards make able relationships that are not equally realistic or clear to everyone.' “First there was the production economy.

Then marriage was an economic contract that provided security and produced offspring. Then came the service economy, in which we were looking for a partner who not only put bread on the table, but who was also a passionate lover, a devoted parent and a confidant to whom you could turn with all your problems.” We currently live in an identity economy. Now we are looking for a soulmate, someone who will help us develop so that we become the best version of ourselves.

A relationship is now an identity project with huge expectations. We expect everything from that one person: intimacy, friendship, passion and good sex. We have such high expectations that someone can only be disappointed. Moreover, there are numerous dating apps that show how many fish are still in the sea.' “This combination of high expectations and many possibilities leads to constant unrest. Because how do you know if you're with the right person?

Many continue to wonder if there is something better out there. The freedom of choice causes insecurity, self-doubt and loneliness. Individualization and competitive drive are also central. We consider our emotional and financial independence to be of great importance, like to do what we feel like at the moment we choose. No one wants to be seen as needy and dependent. Moreover, divorce is no longer taboo. We still believe in love, but we think 'forever' is a long time. We accept that love may be finite.” Over the past century, the place of women in society has changed.

They have made a journey to emancipation. And the balance of power between men and women has also changed dramatically. Women are now more likely to be highly educated, have thriving careers and develop strong egos. They have evolved towards financial independence and have a great deal of self-leadership. They are no longer forced to remain in a marriage.”